To Blog or Not to Blog

I have started a blog, because my husband has required it of me.

"Everyone else has one," he tells me, "so you have to start one too."

I suppose that if all of his friends jumped off a bridge, we know what his fate would be.

Now, I'm not exactly the kind of woman who usually does something just because her husband tells her to. In all honesty, I often do the opposite of what he wants just to annoy him. Or sometimes as a means of training him not to pester me. It is physically impossible for someone to forget to put the toilet paper on the roll as often as I used to, but I hated being nagged to do it, so I managed to forget almost all of the time. The more I got nagged, the more I forgot, and the less I got nagged, the more I remembered. Thinking about it now, I never get nagged to put the toilet paper on the roll anymore because I never forget anymore. I'm not always so certain that I'm the one doing the training.

So why start a blog? Why, to have something to hold against him in the future, of course. "I know that you want to take that job in Toledo, honey, but I started that damn blog just for you, so it looks like we're staying in Maryland after all."

Seriously? No, of course not.

So that I can keep in touch with all of my friends and family? Come on now, you must know by now that I'm not that thoughtful and you're not that special. Guess again.

To express my innermost self and channel my creativity into something that helps me flourish as a woman and as a member of our global society? Not a chance. If I had thoughts like that, I 'd write greeting cards for a living. Or man a suicide hotline. Or just commit suicide.

Because I'm trying to avoid scrubbing the trim in my hallway, because once I'm done with that, I'll have to start sanding and spackling the walls? *Ding, ding, ding* We have a winner, folks. And I'm willing to bet that this thing'll come in handy on slow days at work or when I'm trying to avoid expense reports.

So my apologies, dear reader, if my lack of depth or insight or thoughtfulness or empathy disappoints. But at the very least, I'll do my best to entertain you. At least a little. I'll share my thoughts and hopes and fears with you. I'll use you as a sounding board for new ideas. And I'll always, always be truthful with you. Unless, of course, I'm just lying.